The “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me” is making the rounds on Facebook and it has taught me a lot about the people I thought I knew well. I wanted to expand on that concept and share some thoughts about having a special needs child.
I love my three boys unconditionally and have equal unique reasons for feeling blessed every day of my life. This post is to hopefully show those afraid of having a child with AMC or a special needs child, that it is a wonderful experience that will forever change your life. For all the people that tell me “I could never do what you do” or “I wouldn’t know how to handle a special needs kid,” I am not unique or any stronger than you. As a parent you do whatever it takes to make a life for your child and learn as you go.
I would never change the fact that Owen has special needs. Yes I wish he would have an easy life and could get around like his siblings. But he is an amazing boy that lights up the room. The physical impairments slow him down, but he is determined to move. I am a better person today than I was three years ago.
1. Having Owen changed my life for the better.
2. I have seen my husband become a better father (Owen has daddy wrapped around his finger), loving and patient
3. Watching my three boys laughing and playing together brings me joy every single day.
4. Doctors can be wrong
5. Always trust your gut instincts as a mother
6. Believe in your child and he will amaze you.
7. I learned to let go and not try and control everything in my life.
8. I appreciate the smallest milestones and celebrate how far he has come every day.
9. The only limits your child will have are the ones that we as parents place on them.
10. I have met some of the most fascinating people who have helped Owen simply for the pleasure of being with him. These people have volunteered their time, waived their fees and introduced me to others that can help Owen.
11. My family immediately grew by 750+ when I met the AMC Support Group. I am thankful every day for the support and love these families have given us.
12. Owen’s smile makes me look forward to each and every day.
13. I believe we were chosen to have Owen. He has taught our family so much and continues to change us every day.
14. Medical bills will pile in but somehow it works out and the money eventually follows.
15. Its okay to be frustrated or sad or angry, its normal
16. People have told me they could never do what I do. I am not special or amazing, I am just a mom and doing everything I can for my child. Just like you would do if we changed places.
17. When people stare, I don’t get angry. I take it as an opportunity to educate them about arthrogryposis multiplex congenita.
18. As much as I need to get organized with his medical records, x-rays and various progress reports, I still haven’t done it.
19. I am lucky to have friends and family that took the time to learn about Owen’s condition and how they can help us.
20. I no longer feel sorry for parents of special needs kids, there is no need for sympathy, just joy.
21. Just because Owen has a physical handicap does not mean he cannot clock his brothers in the head with diecast cars and draw blood.
22. I have become a better wife, daughter, friend and mother.
23. It is okay to break the rules and just hold your child. His life doesn’t need to be filled with stretching and therapy 24/7.
24. There is a reason for everything.
25. Our family is blessed and I wouldn’t change one single thing.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
What a great list. I couldn’t add or take away one thing.
My son, also Owen, was born 14 months ago with AMC. I always hear “I don’t know how you do it.” I really liked your response, it’s what I’ve always thought, but have been unable to vocalize.
That was absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
Glad this post has resonated with so many. I never understood before when people would say it was a blessing. I don’t think until you get the gift do you fully understand how lucky you are.
Margaret,
Thanks for commenting on my blog. I clicked here to read about you and Owen, and to my surprise, I found this list, and it just so happened that my wife printed it out and it’s on our refrigerator! My wife is “Mikaela’s Mom” by the way.
Owen is a great kid. Look very strong too. That’s some good parenting you’ve done I can tell. We’ll see you in Philly!
Beautiful, Peggy. You captured it. I wish my parents had been able to have that same attitude about staring (I remember being embarrassed when my mom would get mad at strangers). To see the gift within the challenge—that is the greatest gift of all.